Ever notice how most Mac users are skinny? It's because of all the calories they burn because they can't shut the fuck up about how great their Macs are. What is it about Apple that makes its users unable to shut their mouths? Everywhere I go, there's another asshole with a Mac preaching about how much better Macs are than PCs. They regurgitate lines directly from Apple's marketing campaign, like "it just works." I have the following rebuttals to this argument:
1. If everything on a Mac just works, then why does a website called "Mac fix it" exist, assholes? Here are a few choice topics on macfixitforums.com:I don't know why Mac users get so defensive when you call them idiots. I mean, Apple is a company that has built its entire user base around the fact that its users can't do simple things like turn their computers on. Hell, most Mac users can't even talk without using their hands, which ranks their intelligence somewhere between a simian and hog shit:
-Login window stuck!Waaaah, boo hoo! I can't drag and drop! Dumbass. Looks like your Macs aren't perfect after all, which leads me to my second point:
-lower caSe "S" key not working!!
-Menu bar keeps flashing
-I can't drag and drop!
2. Fuck you.
After the recent Apple conference, Mac fans were elated. One person was quoted as saying "I've had a Macintosh now for a total of 35 days, and I'm really excited to be part of the Mac community." Part of the Mac community? It's a computer, not a social movement, asshole! I feel like Apple is not just selling computers, they're selling a way of life, and I'm not ready to be that heavily invested in a product. I think this parody helps illustrate Apple's unspoken message:
In a band.
Unemployed (see above).
In doing research for this article, I decided to reinstall iTunes, a program I hadn't used since version 4 (now on 7). Here it is, just working:
From the actual iTunes End User License Agreement.
<!--Now everyone's hyping up the iPhone. You know what would make the iPhone better? Tactile response, so you don't have to look down every time you want press a button on the phone.